stuff i am thinking about

1. in romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 it talks about how we are to get our meaning from the place in Christ's body. So i started thinking about how we find our identity from a community view point and not an individualistic view point. its ripping my face off. one thought for example....."we were created to belong, to fit, our difference are what make us fit into the body...not what make us left out.
2. i just got the most amazing red Asian cabinet at the rummage sale and its beautiful. i have been thinking about what i want my flat to look like....that might be months and months away but i am excited to have my own place and decorate it. i want it to be beautiful, quiet, clean, have lots of trees around it, and lots of color.
3. am thinking about Switzerland and how much i loved it there. i got to go skiing and snowshoeing one day....it was honestly some of the most beautiful scenery that i have ever seen. and i got to go see the symphony, eat lots of bread and cheese, homemade honey, and lots of wine.
4. i am wondering what life will look like here. i still feel like i am waiting to go back to kolkata.
5. i think about the people in kolkata, beth, sarah, kiran, upendra, gita, radha, lilly alistar, the hiltons, jo, the sari bari ladies and all the girls in sonagachi that i left behind. i thnk about my sisters beth and sarah and send them all my love and protection and dream of ways to take care of them and think about the next time i get to go back to india.
6. i am trying to believe that God is good in midst of all that i saw in India. people keep telling me that in the end it will all be alright.....but that doesn't make any difference for the 14 year old in hell right now......so i am working through my questions. i keep hearing God tell me to "wait". am reading Habakuk. still fighting that idea of waiting. i hate the thought that while we are waiting on God to make everything right....there are people who have to suffer and will never have their earthly suffering relieved. i dont' know quite yet how to put my idea of loving good God with poverty, rape, etc. etc.
7. i am thinking about the clothes i got at the rummage sale and loving the freedom of dressing in what i want.
8. i am thinking about food too much but i don't want to gain any more weight so i am constantly battling the will to eat or not eat in my head.
9. i think of sommer and how much fun we had......."boots with the fur" Y'all from virginia?
10. i am thinking how ange can make me laugh even over just chatting. she is such an amazing person. i am so thankful for all my friends. jessa cries with me and speaks truth to me. Gay is just filled with a lot of the same questions i am . laura always listens and challenges me and has amazing insight. she is also like an adminstrative genius which i love and am slightly jealous of.

i love my authentic wrangler red cowboy shirt i found todayat the rummage. i love that i will have this cute outfit on but the only closed toe shoes i own are my shiny asic tennis shoes....it kinda ruins a lot of the cuteness. i love that i wept for Kovita yesterday. i love that on Friday night i get to go to an 80's party and hang out with 60 teenage girls and talk to them about India, and worth and value and community and hope. i love that Gay and Bill have a schedule to help each other during the week.