again??

the day i wrote the last blog about kiran the same day she was getting down from a rickshaw and a bicycle ran over her on the leg that she has been having all the problems on.
i feel like i am on a roller coaster here a lot of the times. yesterday was on of those days where i though that things will never change. we have been working with this one lady for years now and she keeps saying she will do things and then doesn't do them and we end up wasting our time. then we feel bad for getting angry. but i am learning that i treat people like victims still. i think that this is just as de-humanizing as treating them like objects. they need to be held accountable and need people to be tough with them just like we do. i am learning that its okay to get angry with some of the ladies we know....of course its not okay to take our anger out on them in an unhealty way but they are humans, just like me. and i can make people mad and irritated on a daily basis!!! so that is a healthy insight into the fact that we are all humans. we all need people to kick our butt sometimes. in fact, God created us to be in relationships sometimes to help give us a healthy kick in the butt sometimes!!!
so, I have to remember that God is bigger than all this crap i see around me. His love is bigger than my anger, my sin and anyone elses stuff. We one day will see S and her family free from the tentacles of the sex trade.
I love that M got up at 5 am did our dishes and has fallen back asleep. i love that God took care of me when i over scheduled. i love that beth and i tried to make bengali food for our bengali friends and well....it kinda flopped. i love that know that i am older its really hard for me to over scheduled and remain a nice sweet human. i love that last night there was this amazing thunder storm so now...on April 4th we are sitting here with no fans on because its that cool!!!!

spiritual attack

ever since most of our staff has been working for us they have dealth with an increase in sickness and family troubles. but yesterday something happened that was so random that maybe it wasn't random??
beth kiran and i were walking to the gatch. on omonday afternoons we go to the nepali brothel. one of the darkest brothels in the gatch. we are friends with the owner there and have made friends with some of her girls.
as we were walking down this side road.(still 5 minutes from the gatch) out of no where a rock falls and lands on kiran's head. its a side road so its not that crowded and there was only five of us but this random rock fell from somewhere and bonked kiran in the head. of course she was totally taken off guard. however, it didn't bleed or knock her out and we went to the gatch and that brothel and had an amazing conversation with a customer. the next day her head and her face was a little swollen, but she is okay.
so pray for our staff. they are so freakin awesome and endure hardships that i am unable to understand. pray for their safetly and health.
ilove how worshiping God takes away darkness' power. i love that it has rained in the past 48 hours and the weather is still relatively cool for this time of year. i love my room right now...all the windows wide open, an amazing breeze.....its one of my favorite things about living in india.

it was one of the craziest things i have seen in a while.

randomness

i know it has been forever since i wrote on this blog but its been a really really full two weeks. its one of those times that is so full of stuff that I could write so much and feel overwhelmed so i don't write anything.
but some good news. remember A and B...those are the two boys that we got into boarding school. (beth's servant team know them!) well the boys have been in temporary care for the past 8 months at a boarding school rather far away...but now they got admission to the AG boys home. This is awesome. They will get to learn English, go to an amazing amazing school......they will have a future. The school is just outside the city so their mom, P, can go visit them (as well as us!!!) We have been waiting for this news for a really really long time. Wahooo!!!!
we had visitors....our friends Tammy, Dylan, Molly and Grant, all who now live in Bangalore. They were such an encouragement while they were here. They come here to stay with us for three days of their vacation.....and end up blessing us!!!! They had an amazing prayer time for us and i just feel once again God is longing for me to receive His love without having to prove myself.
and...hot season has started. it hasn't been so bad so far but for the first time in about 5 months on saturday when i was sitting in a chair my legs were sweating and sticking to the chair. just have to remember that its just a season!!!!

i love finding or being found by friends on facebook who i haven't talked to since i was in high school. it brings back such funny memories. i love that i got a really long email from a friend i haven't heard from in a couple months. i love that all my pillow cases are all different colors. i love that our friend charollette is going to have her baby any day now!!!

Oh Ma!!!

Well, my mom and aunt susie left last night. its sad. it was great to have my mom here. i think we got to know each other better here. its was like having all my worlds clashing at once for me. very rarely does that happen. my life in america is very separate from my life here in kolkata. i always talk about bringing kolkata with me to America but this time i was able to take america with me to share with my friends in kolkata. it was great. my mom and aunt did great. they had such great attitudes when they got tired and were willing to try most things (even eating with their hands). i was really really proud of them. i think it was my favorite part to be able to take them with me to the red-light area and SB. it was so great to introduce the most important people in my life to the most important people in my life. we got to go see the taj mahal, go on a trek in nepal, meet chris hueurtz, not go to sudder st.... even once (am proud of that), be so sore together we could hardly walk, bryiani with the SB ladies, go on a boat ride here, have tea on the streets, walk the line in the gatch and so many awesome things. however, today i am going to do nothing but watch TV and eat the Cheetos that my mom brought me.



me and the ma at the taj mahal..............
this is the view from the picnic bench at one of the cabins we stayed at on our trek
don't my aunt and my mom look so freakin beautiful!!! the ladies dressed them up in saris.
one of the little restaurants we ate at on our trek....note: this is before we actually had trekked and we are still looking fresh and ready for what is ahead.
beth and i keepin' it real nepali style

i love when my mom start laughing so much she can't control herself. i love that everyone that meets my mom likes her. i love that my aunt susie is her beautiful spunky self. i love that all three of us mush our ice cream. i love the comfort that can only come from family...especially my mom. i love that i got a huge from my mom when i went to bed here in kolkata. i love that my mom and aunt's heart hurt for the ladies in the gatch. i love that my family got to see why SB is such a hopeful place. i love my aunt susie. i love my mom.

Power Ballads

so my mom comes in two and 1/2 days!! can you believe it. i am so excited that i am having a hard time planning the details and staying focused about actually working.
however, i was in the coffee shop today and i heard the song "silent lucidity". do you guys remember that song? i couldn't remember who sang it so i went to i tunes and its qeenryche. do you guys remember them??? i found this amazing collection called "Power Ballads: The Basics" and if you are of my generation you have to take a listen. It brings back sooo many memories. Its middle and high school all over again.
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewMix?id=72318679&s=143441&wm=1
bon jovi, scorpions, bryan adams, poison....its so good.
i am a sucker for music that makes me remember.

had a good weekend. i have to admit out loud that yesterday i watched 7 hours of grey anatomy. wow. that is a lot of freakin television folks. and the thing is i don't ever want to own a tv because i tend to watch it all the time if i have it....but i guess it doesn't matter, tv, vcr, coputer....it all sucks me in!!!

i love grey's anatomy 2nd season. i love that my mom and i just talked for an hour about really nothing even though i am going to see her in two days. i love tha tmy mom is going to get to smell, taste, hear and experience india for herself. i love that my hair is cute and curly today. i love that my mom makes me laugh. i love that i feel like God is breaking off of me lies i belive about who i am. i love that i looked at an "us" magazine i found at a bookstore yesterday from jan and i didn't know any of the names of movies or the new movie stars.

a tiny modeling career

so here are a sample of my sweet moves while i was at the beach a couple week ago with the SB's ladies and the staff. (and i say tiny modeling career because i can't figure out how to make the pictures bigger. )
So...... if you are struck by the power of my ability to pose i am willing to offer courses on "acting natural: bollywood style". Just come for a visit and you can get the complete course. If i like you i might even give you a discournt. but until then just be inspried by the kolkata girls keepin' it real Bollywood style.



i love that my mom comes in 5 days!!! i love that we are going to stay at the Hotel Relax. i love that my room is organized like my mom organizes her house...lots of piles of random stuff. i love that i am unable to really concentrate right now on anything and just want to go have fun. i love that feeling after cleaning your room where everything is orderly, fresh smelling, pretty and i feel accomplished and somewhat in control. i Love people that appreciate farting.....Thanks Brent!!!

poverty sucks

words just feel so empty to write about my day. so empty to describe how rich, amazing, hard and life-giving life is right now.
spent my time between the gatch and my friend's house in the vilalge...M. if you know M...we have been friends with her for yeras and years. her sister got really sick after having her baby a month and 1/2 ago so she was admitted into the government hospital. she was septic. she died thsi weekend. If you know M's story at all its marked by lots and lots of sad stories She was trafficked, she has HIV, her father left her family. and nothing that has happened to her is fair or right. poverty sucks. there are layers upon layers of reasons why her sister died like she did and why M life has taken the turn it has.
we didn't get word that her sister had died until today. so we went to her home. and we got to sit with her and talk with her. her mother has taken down all the idols in her house. she talked about how she cried out to the gods and no one heard her. she said that she told the gods that if they saved her daughter she would be faithful to them. but her daughter died. but listen to this....the only thing she didn't throw out of her room...was a cross. it still hangs on her wall.
we talked with them both about how Jesus understands your suffering because he suffered. M remember when she was working at our friends business the movie she saw about Jesus and said she remembered. we didn't make any promises to her that God would heal her or make her life perfect and great....we told her that God suffers with her and He suffers with her and for her because He loves her.
she processed some things about her sister's death. she told us that she can only remember bad things her sister sad. she say she doesn't really believed she has died. most of the time she thinks she is at her mother-in-law's house and is coming home soon.
however, through this experience M wants to see a dcotor and start getting better and wants to work at SB or our friends business.
what am i trying to say........what i am trying to say is that sometimes Jesus is like a fart at a funeral. when someone farts in the most inappropriate times it sometimes bring laughter where there should be no laughter. it breaks the tension in a room and makes people remember good and funny things.
that is what today was like......Jesus showed up in an inappropriate place today. He showed up where there was no hope and gave hope. He brought an inappropriate joy to where there should only be sorrow.
and i know its such a crude way to talk about Jesus but it makes sense to me. and my words just seem to failing right now but i will just say it was a '"farting at a funeral" kinda day. and for those of you who understand....awesome and thank you.
i love that beth made me laugh really hard lots today. i love that M laid in my lap today. i love that farting makes me and my brother laugh more than anything else. i love when in the midst of such immense sorrow God can show me hope in the tiniest things. i love that you really can make a difference in this world. i love that for the first time ever in kolkata i realize how many trees this city has. i love that my nut obsession is finally going away.