Wednesday, September 26, 2007

an amazing day

welll actually it started off really bad.....like....don't want to go into much detail but i wanted to quit. wanted to go home and leave this place and all that makes it hard...but of course God is amazing.
today gita and i went to see our friend M (daniel i will work on a better code system) in the village. the weather has been really really bad and we didn't know if her village was goin got be flooded and i didn't know how she was or if it would rain or we would be able even get to house...so it was all these what if's. but after a kinda rainy train, ride, a bycyle rickshaw ride in the rain, and a 10 minute walk in knee deep water we found her!! i don't know why but when i saw her i almost started crying. she had to wade out to meet us from her house in thigh deep water. she just looked so thin and frail....but when i saw her i saw my friend and she smiled and it was all worth it. we went to remind of her doctor appointment on friday. that was all. saw her for 20 minutes but her smile made it worth it.
then we went home.
the servant team came over today for prayer. they are the kind of people who hear directly from God. they prayed for each staff person individually, and then over our house. this guy sonny on our team said to me, "i feel two things. the first is that i prayed against fear and withdrawl. and the second is we need to wait on the Lord. through waiting we will find strength". and the other team had encouraging words adn prayer as well.
its like God was reminding me that he knows me. He knows us as a community. He reminded me that i am not to much and that He will always greet me with love and not condemnation. still struggle with receiving grace and thinking the best about myself and others.
Thank God that he persures me in my darkest moments.
i love jenifer knapp. i loove the flower stain glass ann made me!!! i love that i am going to be an aunt!!! i love that my dad sent me two coozies from my step-brother's wedding. i love that the older i get the more self aware i get and that is a blessing and a curse. i love that today I feel like God met me all day. I love that one day i might be able to recieve love.

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