Thursday, September 27, 2007

rainbows over the gatch




So yesterday i storm blew in while i was sitting at my desk working. when i looked up and out my window this is what i saw. the rainbow is directly over the gatch. it only lasted for about 5 minutes but it was so amazing and bright and hopeful. i think sometimes i forget that hope can come so suddenly and without warning and then be gone. i guess that is why God tells us to remember because the rainbow only lasted for five minutes. but the memory of the rainbow can give us hope forever.
hmmm........
i love that in her childhood beth loved rainbows and people would give them to her all the time. i love that one time when i was really young my mom and us tried to find the end of the rainbow. we drove around tying to look for it. i love that the wmf staff sent me a card with personal birthday wished written in it....it made me feel loved. i love my english friend lilly and allistar. i love that my friend said that she can see changes in my and that i am softer than i used to be.....yeah!!!!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

an amazing day

welll actually it started off really bad.....like....don't want to go into much detail but i wanted to quit. wanted to go home and leave this place and all that makes it hard...but of course God is amazing.
today gita and i went to see our friend M (daniel i will work on a better code system) in the village. the weather has been really really bad and we didn't know if her village was goin got be flooded and i didn't know how she was or if it would rain or we would be able even get to house...so it was all these what if's. but after a kinda rainy train, ride, a bycyle rickshaw ride in the rain, and a 10 minute walk in knee deep water we found her!! i don't know why but when i saw her i almost started crying. she had to wade out to meet us from her house in thigh deep water. she just looked so thin and frail....but when i saw her i saw my friend and she smiled and it was all worth it. we went to remind of her doctor appointment on friday. that was all. saw her for 20 minutes but her smile made it worth it.
then we went home.
the servant team came over today for prayer. they are the kind of people who hear directly from God. they prayed for each staff person individually, and then over our house. this guy sonny on our team said to me, "i feel two things. the first is that i prayed against fear and withdrawl. and the second is we need to wait on the Lord. through waiting we will find strength". and the other team had encouraging words adn prayer as well.
its like God was reminding me that he knows me. He knows us as a community. He reminded me that i am not to much and that He will always greet me with love and not condemnation. still struggle with receiving grace and thinking the best about myself and others.
Thank God that he persures me in my darkest moments.
i love jenifer knapp. i loove the flower stain glass ann made me!!! i love that i am going to be an aunt!!! i love that my dad sent me two coozies from my step-brother's wedding. i love that the older i get the more self aware i get and that is a blessing and a curse. i love that today I feel like God met me all day. I love that one day i might be able to recieve love.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

tired of my space

okay folks....this is a new era...i have to start blogging here. i just need to start doing it because its one of those things i keep saying i am going to do but never do so i am going to start doing it.

today i was at sari bari today. it was good. i got home an hour late because gita accidently took my keys and she lives really far away so we couldn't shut sari bari!!! we ended up borrowing locks from out landlord. sarah has some mad problem solving skills. they come in handy.

i love that i finally started a new blog. i love that for a while it will be boring until i figure out how to get pictures on it. i love that i got to talk with laura today and she celebrated her 30th birthday with an 80's party complete with amoon walk in her back yard.... how super cool is that.